SALOMON MUKUBWA (SIJAONA RAFIKI KAMA YESU)

WHO IS THE TRUE FRIEND?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs states that once our biological and safety needs have been met, our next “need” is a social one. This need includes friendships, belonging to a group, and giving and receiving love. God doesn’t want us to be alone! Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. In Ecclesiastes 2:9-10 God tells us this: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” “Blessed is he that findeth a true friend.” (Ecclus. 25-12)

Friendships are the gift to the mankind. The relations which we get in this world are blood related. But the only relationship which isn't related to blood is friendship. A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself". This quote aptly describes the role that a friend plays in your life. Friends are the ones who are always there for you, whether the times are good or bad. They never leave your side, even in the worst of circumstance. As Walter Winchell has said, "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust.

Friendship has many forms and shapes let us look the difference between Good Friends and True Friends.

A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.

A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A good friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

From above differences with a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true friend of her children. Proverbs 18:24 says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. If you want to have true friends, you should be a true friend yourself.

The trust between best friends is such that if one friend falls in trouble, the other will not think twice to help. If the bond between two friends is strong, true friends can endure even long distances. For them, geographical separation is just a part of life. It would not affect their friendship. They make it a point to stay in touch, it grows better with time. True friendship thrives on trust, inspiration and comfort.

True friends they accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends. They know each other's strengths as well as weaknesses. One would not overpower the other. They would respect each other's individuality. In fact, they would understand the similarities and respect the differences.

True friends are not opportunists. They don't help, because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is marked by selflessness. Even if the whole world opposes them. It is not easy getting true friends for the lifetime. If you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed. Remember, all best friends are friends, but not all friends can be true friends. As Proverbs 18:24 explains there are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother

We should remember that Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth. Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the people mouth in the next day!

Faithfulness and loyalty is a key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. Therefore True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, afraid for his life after Jesus is led away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing Jesus (John 18). As He is led away by His accusers, Jesus casts a look toward Peter that says, "I knew you would deny Me, and I forgive you" (John 21).

Therefore as St. Augustine said “Friendship is one of the greatest needs and one of the most exalted blessings of the human heart; to love and to be loved is man’s desire and happiness. The heart of man is so lonely that it must seek another heart outside of itself, to which it may attach itself and in which it may confide. It cannot rest until it has found another heart that will share its sentiments and have compassion on its sufferings. It becomes then one with such a heart, so that they both seem to beat with one pulsation. Therefore we esteem ourselves fortunate when we have found such a heart”

Do you believe that Friendship is a blessing which God had rewarded us with? 

What is your opinion?

Friendship quotations:

Pro 24:26 Giving an honest answer is a sign of true friendship.

Pro 13:20 Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools

Pro 16:28 Gossip is no good! It causes hard feelings and comes between friends.

Rom 12:16 Be friendly with everyone. Don't be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. Make friends with ordinary people.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times,” not just when times are good but also when times are hard. They love us not just in our best moments, but in our worst moments too.

Proverbs 19:4, we see just how faithful some friends can be. It says, “Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friends desert him.” I’ve often heard people say that you really know who your friends are when times get tough.