THE MASSAGE FOR LENT 2013

DEALING WITH DIFFICULTY PERSONALITIES?

Tips questions about dealing with difficult people:

·         Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person?

·         Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it?

·         What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?

·         It is true that wherever we are going we will face people who are negative and who will oppose what you think it is right.

·         How can we handle negative situation when it happens?

·         Why we need to be careful when we are dealing with negative people or negative issues?

The Bible gives us some practical guidelines for managing difficult people. The first is found in Matthew 18:15-17 and Ephesians 4:15. Both of these passages instruct us to confront difficult people privately and in love. Take the initiative; but in doing so, be sure you are fair, firm and friendly.

According to the Bible the way to deal with difficult people is to love them, pray for them, expect to give rather than to receive, maintain a humble spirit, and relate to them in patience and kindness.

The Bible also cautions us that we also need to examine ourselves before judging others by praying for the Spirit’s power to change our own hearts and minds toward the difficult person and enable us to see them as needing the same love, grace and mercy that God extended toward us.

We have a clear example of Jesus forgave the men who were going to kill him, as we read in Luke 23:34-39. The way to deal with difficult people, then, is to practice Christ’s humility and love. That kind of response is both edifying to us and pleasing to the Lord. Pope John Paul II Demonstrating with his personal deeds, he visited the man who attempted to kill him and forgave him for his wrong doing. He exhorted the faithful to be merciful as our Heavenly Father is merciful. So what about us do we always utilize this merciful tool in our life towards difficult people?

If in our life we don’t do that what we create is holding grudge what does this means in our life, it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. But we forget that the only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally creating pain within ourselves.

Why people initiate negativity, it looks like it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and sometimes because our ego likes problems and conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them.

As I have explained before that when we are in a negative state or holding a grudge against someone, we don’t feel very good. We carry that energy with us as we go about our day. When we don’t feel very good, we lose sight of clarity and may react unconsciously to matters in other areas of our lives, unnecessarily.

We can run away from the truth that we are humans after all, and we have emotions and egos. And we need to understand that Negative people can be a source of energy. When you find yourself identifying with emotions and thoughts, bring your focus on your breath.  Need to remember that when we are  dealing with difficult people, don’t try to change the other person; you will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with.

Therefore lowering your expectations of people will make you more comfortable with difficult as James 1:19-20: said that "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God"